I received some highly offensive comments last week from a particular blogger and her friends in response to some of my adoption posts. Here is a segment of the “nicer” comments.
“… it sickens me to see an adoptive parent bringing God into adoption. I am so thankful my adoptive parents were ok with their infertility and explained our adoptions rationally and trutfully. The fact is, most adoptive parents are infertile. THAT’S why they adopt. God had nothing to do with it. Your want for a child had everything to do with it….”
“…..Stop making YOUR wants “God’s plan”. WWJD??? He’d be ashamed of the pastor’s & the pastor’s wife, that’s for sure.”
I didn’t post the other comments because they were hostile and more offensive than these.
It’s interesting to me that when people take God out of certain things, or anything for that matter, that the situation takes on a completely different scenario. You take God out of infertility and it could be viewed as punishment, a mistake or a medical phenomena. You take God out of adoption and it too becomes skewed. This is true for anything.
For a believer, to separate God from our desires as well as our struggles is to make him impersonal and disconnected. It can also makes us think we have way more control than we actually have. God’s ways are higher than our ways and many times our desires do not line up with His plans and purposes. Our desire was to have a biological child but that was not part of God’s plan. God was just as much in the denying of our request for a biological child as He was in the granting of our request for adopting a child. It was God, both times.
As far as the comments, I’ll admit, I got my panties in a bit of a wad. At first I was all strong girl, thinking to myself, “Boy, I’m glad I can take this because I know where I stand in Christ and where we stand as a family regarding adoption.” But I will be honest and tell you that I did toss and turn in my bed for an hour straight. I was bothered. Even though I knew where we stood, I was miffed. So I eventually got up and sat on the couch. I spent some time in prayer. I asked God to wash over my heart with a heart like His. To give me eyes to see and ears to hear what He wanted for me right then. I prayed for the girl and her friends who posted comments that clearly revealed hurt in their past. I asked God to open their eyes too for wherever they were in life. And then I randomly opened my Bible (I used to mock this approach to reading God’s Word until He actually started speaking to me through it at times) to Psalm 125:1. It says, “To those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surrounded Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.”
I was so refreshed by those words. The visual and the reality of God surrounding me at that moment was a really neat feeling. My heavenly father was protecting me and he wanted me to know it. I thanked God for speaking into my life through the power of his word and then crawled back in bed and went sound-a-sleep.