The first nightmare involved spending close to two hours wearing a paper towel in the OBGYN’s office and I was not a happy camper. Grumpy and stomach growling I decided to drive through Chick-Filet on this perfectly sunny day. They are the only fast food restaurant that can successfully facilitate a triple wrapped line of cars at lunch time in just 10 minutes. I noticed there were people standing at all corners of the Chick-Filet with buckets collecting money. Sheriff’s Office raising money for Special Olympics. Then I heard someone on a loud speaker so I rolled down my window to see what all the commotion was. Next to the Chick-Filet cow was a man saying, “Get out of your car and dance for ten seconds with the cow and get free coupons.” But nobody was budging at the packed lunch hour.
Apparently I was smiling because the guy with the loud speaker points to me and says to me through the loud speaker, “You want to do it. I can tell you do.” I laughed and said, “Yeah I kinda do, but no way am I getting out of my car and dancing for 10 seconds with a cow.”
But the thought of a free chick-filet sandwich or a coke sounded pretty good. I also love to dance even though I have no rhythm. Annnnnd I’d never see these people again – hopefully. Oh please no.
So I got out of my car in my long tie dyed skirt and started busting the moves with a cow I was hoping I’d never see again. Meanwhile the loudspeaker guy is counting down from 10. When he gets to 1 I grab my cup of goodies and bolted to my car. I only had a few seconds before ordering so I had to see what my coupon was for.
I start looking at the coupons and NONE of them are for Chick-Filet! Not one blasted coupon is for Chick-Filet. Pet store coupons, Men’s clothing coupons, blah, blah, blah. What the world?
I did find some satisfaction in the fact that two other cars followed suit and started dancing with the cow too.
But still…..I danced for chick-filet coupons!
It gets worse……This is where the second nightmare unfolds.
Shortly after grabbing lunch on the run I ran into a store real quick and as I passed by a mirror what I saw scared me to death. I had on a long, thin brown and cream tie dyed skirt with no slip and you could see straight through my skirt. I mean straight through it. I tried so hard to forget that just an hour before I had been dancing in the noonday sunshine while practically mooning every car in the drive thru and inside customers on the other side of the glass windows. You can’t unsee that, people!
See this is the real reason Baptists don’t dance. The few times they tried it totally bit them in the see through britches.