When our kids grapple with faith

I’m not ashamed to say that I see my son grappling with his faith right now. Asking a lot of questions. Wondering why God did things a certain way when He had all the power and control to do things differently – things that make more sense to him. Like – not putting the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the garden to begin with. Not letting satan tempt Adam and Eve. Not allowing sin to enter the world. These things.

A Bible paper that is due next week on the life of Noah has also spurred on some deep questions. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone back and looked at the life of Noah. As Mitchell and I looked into scripture together about Noah we read these hard but true words,

” The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. 6 The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. 7 So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.”

God regretted the very creation he made. That’s tough stuff. I found myself wanting to defend God as Mitchell asked questions like, “So did God make a mistake when he made that generation of people?” “Why is he so angry with us?” “If he knew that was going to happen why create in the first place?”

I felt myself getting all tight inside my heart. I didn’t want to mess up by attempting to explain. I didn’t want my son to see God as an angry God who wiped out people because he didn’t care. I wanted him to know the deepest foundational point of God wanting to be in relationship with these people – with us – and that his love and mercy allowed a new start. That our sin separates us from God because He’s holy and we are not. Sovereignty and free will and all that. Still. It’s a hard truth. An entire generation wiped out.

But these questions are good. And I’m so glad he’s talking them out loud and not afraid to ask. They are excellent questions. And yes, truthfully I have to say, it is a little scary to see your child chewing through and asking such tough questions and not being sure where they’ll land. But I am trusting God and praying that the Holy Spirit will keep opening Mitchell’s eyes to the Truth of his word and the essence of who God is. Nobody can force an authentic believing faith on anyone. That is between the Holy Spirit and an individual.  So I don’t have to get uptight in pleading and defending “my faith case” to him. I can as gracefully as possible tell him I’ve had some of those same questions. We can look at different parts of scripture (because interpreting scripture in light of scripture is crucial in understanding God and his ways) to identify who God is. Not that we can ever figure him out or understand him fully. And that’s what faith is – trusting and believing when we don’t have all the answers or understand or like what we see.

Questions are good. Grappling with faith is good. God can handle our questions. He’s big enough for that. When our kids do it we need to be okay with it and never rebuke them for asking such questions.   But with a tender praying heart ask God to guide us in coming alongside our kids as they journey through their own faith walk. Some kids just need to wrestle it out more and ask lots of questions. Others don’t necessarily do that. And that’s okay too. I kind of think wrestling for something helps us remember it better. We may come out limping a bit but we’ll never forget what we learned.

So Lord, today we pray for our kids who are trying to understand you. For the ones who might be mad at you. For the ones who aren’t even thinking about you. We ask in your name, Jesus, that you would reveal yourself to them in such a personal way that they know you love them and want to be in relationship with them. Draw us and our kids closer to you. Let our walks be individual walks of faith – never attempting to hang onto the coattails of parents or religious activities. Increase our faith Lord. We need you to do that in us. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

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Comments

  1. THIS THIS THIS!! I actually do not have children, so I probably shouldn’t even leave a comment, but I have observed {from once BEING a child and through watching my friends parent} that so many people are afraid to let their kids wrestle and doubt and ask questions and wonder and hurt. And it’s in all those things that faith grows. Many kudos to you for giving the GIFT of that freedom and guiding it along.

    • that’s a good point you make about the things like doubt, wonder and hurt being things that help our faith grow. And how often we want to protect ourselves and others from pain and hurt. P.S. Congrats on the sale of your home!