Don’t mess with your therapist!

Three times a week I go to physical therapy for my leg. It’s just down the road from our house and it’s so convenient for me. But there’s one thing I hate about it – it’s the BAPS board. Picture a large round  disc on the floor with a ball underneath. I have to rotate it with just my ankle while sitting down. I can’t move my leg or knee and the disc can’t touch the ground. It’s the most nerve racking frustrating thing ever. I hate it. It stretches my brain cells more than any ligament, muscle or bone in my ankle. And I’m not there for brain therapy! (Yes, I think I hear the sassy comments through this screen….. “She needs brain therapy! Randy should buy her a BAPS board for her birthday.”)  Not funny.

I’ve made it my mission to figure out ways to not do the BAPS board. One day I secretly hid it behind other apparatus in the hopes that “object permanence” might still work on adults. The ole’ out of sight out of mind technique. FYI: it doesn’t work.

So then I had another brilliant idea. I walked in my most recent therapy session and said, “Oh you guys, did you hear about the recall on all BAPS boards?” My therapist looks wide eyed and says, “No, tell me about it.” I get half way through my made up recall speech about the BAPS causing hazardous conditions for patients, blah, blah when therapist #2 is totally on to me and rats me out.

Another failed attempt.

Back to the BAPS board. And this time it’s double the reps because of my mischievousness.

Lesson of the day: Nevah evah mess with yo therapist!

 

April Fool’s 2015 in our household

And I thought April Fool’s Day was going to be a total bust this year! Sophie and I have been sick all week with the flu I think? – didn’t even think you were allowed to get the flu in the Spring but apparently it’s perfectly legal because we’ve had it since Saturday. When I realized it was April Fool’s and I had no energy to be pulling a prank I was so sad. Like seriously sad you guys. How lame is that? To be sad that you don’t get to trick people and watch their epic responses while you stand back and hold your ribs in laughter. That’s just sick. But it’s the truth.

So here’s what ended up happening this year on April Fool’s Day in our house:

1) I went outside while kids were getting ready for school and opened Randy’s glove compartment, center console and threw trash around his car, receipts, etc to make it look like that lady who stole money out of his car a few weeks ago had come back.

Response: Randy got in the car to go to work and came back inside immediately without trying to alarm Sophie (she cried last time and was so upset about the whole thing) and said, ” That lady came back and went through my car.” In utter shocked voice I exclaimed, “What?! Oh no!” And then as he walked down the steps I said, “Hey Randy?” As he turned and looked at me I said, “April Fools.” And then I got that adorable grin he gives when he knows he’s been had.

2) Decided to go out for the first time all week. Sophie in her pj’s still and me with no make up but did change out of my pajama’s for the 10 minute errand. We went to the bank to get our monthly cash budget withdrawn. It’s a large sum because it’s what we spend on groceries, miscellaneous, eating out, etc for an entire month for our household. So when I gave the withdrawal slip to the banker I said, “And I’d like that in pennies please.”

Response: Double take. “Could you say that again Ma’m?” I smiled sweetly and said, “Sure. I’d like that in pennies please.” She stammered a bit and said, “I don’t have that much.” Still being nice I replied, “Well, I’ve started shopping only in pennies as well as paying bills and I need to pay our mortgage today. In pennies.” She was puzzled and said, “I can give you half in pennies but would need to give you…….” And then I busted out laughing and apologized. She started laughing with me and it was all good and fun. Sophie was more mortified that I had played that joke on the banker than the fact she was wearing her pajama’s – granted it was the drive thru.

3) At 10:30pm Wednesday night Sophie realized we had not pranked Mitchell and she begged us to do something to him. And I was very anxious to do something as well. Not having much energy to pour into it I knew it had to be simple. A prank call would have to do. We got it all figured out and put the plan into action. Home phone rang and Randy asked Mitchell to answer it. I was upstairs hiding in our bathroom with Sophie with the lights out. Mitchell answered and the conversation went as follows:

Mitch: Hello, this is Mitchell.

Me: (in shaky granny voice) This is Ethel Blackstock and I just left the nursing home and need a place to stay for the night. Do you have an extra bed I could sleep in tonight?

Mitch: (throws the phone to Randy and says it’s an old lady wanting to stay here????)

Randy: I can’t take that call right now. You handle it.

Mitch: (Dad, this is creepy. She wants to stay with us tonight!) Ummm are you still there Ms…..what did you say your name was again?

Me: (about to wet my pants) Mrs. Blackstock. Yes, I just need to know if you will let me stay at your house for the night. I’m outside your house right now.

Mitch: (goes outside on porch to look for lady with Randy)

Me: Young man please let me speak with your father.

I leave my phone in the bathroom and Sophie and I go downstairs to find Mitchell and Randy looking for Mrs. Blackstock. Mitchell is thinking it’s the same lady who broke into Randy’s car because he wasn’t convinced she was really “old”. He’s nervous and on the front porch looking for her. I decide to help look for her too because I’m just a nice person like that. Well, things take a twist when Randy turns on ALL of us and yells “BOO!” from behind the bushes and sprays us with the water hose. We all screamed and ran inside and locked him out.

I look at Mitchell and yelled, “HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S!”

4) At this point it was 11:00pm and way past our kids normal bedtime. So we all went upstairs to go to bed and Mitchell plopped in his bed and…….fell smack to the bottom of the floor.

Randy had taken the slats out except for one. It was classic. Flailing arms and legs in the air. Couldn’t have been better. Just wish I had it on video.

Response: He jumps out of bed and runs into the hallway and looks at me and says, “I can’t believe you did this to me!”

I said, “I didn’t do that to you!” And he knew immediately his father had just gotten him good.

And it felt more than right to crawl into bed knowing we had fulfilled our April Fool’s delight that day.

Happy Day After April Fool’s!